There hasn’t been many moments I haven’t had my journal with me this past year living in Florida. (I moved from Charlotte, NC last August.) I decided to share 10 things I have learned while learning. This season has had it’s ups and many downs, but I have learned so much and I’m thankful. So with that, here’s 10 things this season of life has taught me:
1. Sometimes the strongest & bravest thing you can do for yourself is to know that it simply is not time yet. Keep not settling.
It’s hard sometimes living in a world where instant gratification is what we’re told to strive for. It’s all about what we want and how fast we can get it. And we suck at patience when we try on our own. It’s not something we can go to target and check isle 5 for. We have to learn. Even when something looks so good (whether it be a car, a job, a person, etc.) sometimes we’re supposed to say no to it, and there’s bravery and strength that comes from knowing what’s best for you. Keep not settling.
2. You don’t have to change others in order to love them.
I used to get so mad at people for their faults. In a lot of my personal relationships, I didn’t quite get why controlling them and trying to get them to stop doing things wasn’t working. Then I realized, you can’t change people on your own and through your own good deeds. The only way you can change others is by simply loving them exactly how they are. And sometimes, like I realized, the only person who actually needs to change is you.
3. Abandonment is not embedded into the deepest parts of your skin. It can be fought, it can be defeated.
A lot of my story so far has been the people who love and care for me the most, leaving. Whether it was for serious reasons or just because they can, it hurt and wounded me for the longest time. I spent a lot of my growing seasons thinking something was wrong with me and spent so much time wondering why people would just leave. But you know what I realized? People are people. We all have our own issues and struggles and just because people aren’t here that are supposed to be, does not mean I have to live my life in a pit of depression. No matter who walks out of your life, know that you are greater than the hurtful feelings and questions they leave you with.
4. People’s stories matter. Your own included.
It’s as simple as that.
5. Your parents teach you things growing up, like how to turn off the lights when you’re not using them. Do it.
It will save you a lot of time and money on your electric bill, trust me.
6. You don’t need any other human being’s approval or validation to follow your dreams.
Growing up, my parents can attest to this one, I can’t tell you how many different goals and plans I had. I was such a talker and always said I was going to do things and pursue things and for the longest time, I never did. Then I realized I was living for everyone else but myself. Don’t do that. Figure out (with time) what you want to do and who you want to be. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of making it happen.
7. Words are so vital; use them to build up, not tear down.
Every day you can use your words to build others up in love, joy, faith, and life. Use them. Even when it’s awkward and when you’d rather not.
8. Security is not found in another human being.
And it never will be. That’s not their job.
9. Learn to be faithful in the small things.
I dropped out of college & moved 10 hours away from home with no job when I was 18, but every single thing has fallen into place. Don’t worry so much about being exactly where you are supposed to be. Sometimes we’re not supposed to have all the right answers. We’re just called to be the right person and be faithful in the small details and things fall into place as life continues to be life. Do what you can with where you are.
10. Choosing joy is always the right choice.
Even when your heart hurts a lot and life won’t stop, the moments that I chose joy when I would rather be really sad, has filled me with great perseverance. And I’m learning. I’m not perfect yet, I’m still fighting for myself but joy always wins in the end.